Saturday, December 15, 2012

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Part1: The Weirdest Flight of My Life

Hello all! I greatly appreciated the indignation on my behalf after not receiving a lollipop for a plethora of vaccinations this week. That should definitely be standard practice. I would go and complain if I'd had any nasty side effects.

Now, to today's topic, TRANSPORTATION! I understand you may not be quite as excited as I am but I'm sure you will be soon. And, it may seem a little redundant after Buses Make Me Nervous. But, that does not cover an important issue. How to get from one city to the next? There are three main ways...

Planes, trains, and automobiles! 

I've used all three and I'm sure you are at rapt attention waiting for my thoughts on each. First we have,


I've only taken a plane between international cities once. It was an....interesting experience. I flew from Rome to Palermo and obviously back the other way. There weren't many choices for getting from Point A to Point B as Palermo is not on the mainland. I am extremely thankful I didn't have to take a boat. (I live in the Nebraska which couldn't get much more landlocked so I am incapable of walking on boats.)

Back to the flight. It was on a regional airline called EasyJet. It came with one bonus, or possibly detriment, of reduced security. I didn't even have to take off my shoes through the metal detector! Ahhhh, the small pleasures of life. I did get patted down though (but I set off the metal detector so can't really complain about that. And, it was less invasive than the normal procedures in the U.S.)

I was a little amazed by certain aspects of this flight. It was extremely delayed (which isn't really that weird these days), but the behaviors of the other passengers upon landing were so odd. I think this is better presented visually.

This illustrates the minute we landed. And by that, I mean we just hit the tarmac and are still taxi-ing around to the gate.
As you can see, that's me in the corner with a "Wtf?" expression. We had just hit the ground and immediately everyone jumps up, grabs their bags, starts chattering away in Italian (some on their phones), and crowds toward the exit. I was so amazed. Where was the surly stewardess to tell them, "The pilot has not turned off the fasten seat belt sign." Or, "Any and all electronic devices must remain off until an announcement is made that they are safe to use." Maybe I should drop out of engineering school and be a stewardess. I think I've got this down; I would rule the cabin with an iron fist.

While this was going on, I chose to simply stay seated, with seat belt securely fastened, until we stopped at the gate. It's been ingrained into my mind and I did not want to get flattened by the mob rushing to the exit or be stuck in the face by a bag from an overhead bin which, did in fact, shift during the flight.

These sorts of flights are quick and fairly cheap. The whole experience was a little strange to me because things occurred which would get you arrested by the TSA. But, it got me there without any sort of physical injury. I just kept wondering what other corners were cut. I don't advocate using a plane unless you have a specific reason (like the Mediterranean Sea) because you don't want to have to waste time in an airport. Blech.

I'll be sharing my experiences with trains and automobiles soon. I think each deserves its own attention.

So until next time, God bless America.


  1. Hi, Thanks for the follow. I'm following you back. Love your awesome blog.

  2. Ahhh, EasyJet. Or DifficultJet, as we like to call it. Slightly better than Ryanair, or Irish Bastard Air as my British partner calls it. You know it's a special airline when they play a victory tune every time that they land the plane successfully.

    1. I think it is a bit of false advertising. I did not expect easy jet to be so complicated. Thanks for the tip for Irish Bastard Air. I'll make sure to avoid it in the future.