Guess I'm Not Going to India After All

Hello everyone,

A few months ago I shared the news that I would be traveling to Chennai, India for two months to work on a research project. It seems like that is not going to happen now. I was originally scheduled to leave at the end of January and come home next week. As I am still in Nebraska, this schedule has been thrown out the door. My professors continue to hope that we will be able to make a trip before the end of the semester in May.

The issue, I still don't have a visa. The original applications were done in December and new applications done at the beginning of February. As of February 27, I've been waiting for approval of the government of India. I got an email today from the outsourcing company where I had to send my application. They will be mailing my passport back to me because my visa application is still being processed and "it is likely to take more time to obtain clearance". They want to make sure I have it in case of other travel.

If my application is ever ok-ed, I will need to send my passport back and wait for them to return it, adding another week of processing time. As there are approximately six weeks left in the semester, travel to India seems doubtful. It's unfortunate I got five vaccines and have malaria medication sitting on my living room floor. What a waste. Well, what can you do?

My Open Letter to a...Wonderful Airport Employee

I started my week by traveling to Texas for a job interview. As I live in Nebraska, it takes two flights to actually get anywhere you would like to visit, meaning I took a total of four flights over two days. Aside from the fact that three of my four flights were over an hour late, I had one other little issue with my experience. All my flights were on planes small enough my roll-y bag had to be gate checked. I think the best way to explain what happened is through an open letter to some wonderful airport employees.

Dear Mr. Bag Thrower Man,

While I am aware your title is Bag Thrower, did you really need to throw it quite that hard? I am unsure if you were trying to impress your fellow employees with your strength or simply attempting to get your daily workout, but I am unsatisfied with the results.

I believe you were attempting to show off your strength because it appears you were going for distance. My bag obviously was not placed directly on the baggage cart because it was sopping wet when I retrieved it after the flight. (And by sopping wet, I mean wet enough my suit was still wet when I arrived at the hotel after my next flight six hours later.) I hope you were able to set a new record in the bag throw. Perhaps it will be added to the next Olympics. If so, I'm rooting for you.

I would like to compliment you on your dexterity. You placed my bag on the plane so delicately that my plastic makeup remover bottle split down the side and got the rest of my liquid bottles oily. You did succeed in teaching me the real reason my miniature liquids have to be in a plastic baggie....to make sure I don't accidentally makeup remove the suede on my heels. Thank you, I'll remember that one. My heel didn't break off, maybe you can shoot for that on my next flight.

Sincerely,
Scary Carrie, a less than satisfied traveler

I do recognize it could have been worse. A fellow student who traveled to Poland last summer had the worst baggage experience I have ever heard of. Her checked bag arrived in Europe and was covered in duct tape. Somehow, the baggage people stabbed a 10 inch hole in the back of her bag that also left a dent in the metal bar. It was raining in one of her stops and her bag arrived so incredibly wet that all her tampons had grown to three times their size, just like the Grinch's heart. I always feel a little bad complaining after seeing that. I do wish I had been able to take off my eye makeup though. Raccoon eyes aren't a flattering look for an interview.

Until next time, God bless America.

Airport Security Would Be A Lot Easier If...#3

Apparently, a metal detector is no longer enough to prove you aren't up to anything nefarious at an airport. We now have these big, fancy body scanners.

I've used them a few times by now because I'd rather be scanned than patted down. If you don't know about these scanners, they shoot x-rays at you.

Sound awesome right? It's just like you're being scanned at checkout! People really are commodities! Maybe I need to start wearing clothes that look like this to the airport to make it go faster.

A quick BEEP and woohoo, nothing treacherous over there.

Or maybe, there will be a high enough dosage you'll get superpowers! If you're lucky, you might not even need that flight anymore.

Since I doubt anyone could really get away with being a barcode or end up as Super Carrie instead of Scary Carrie, it's time I get to the real story. Airport security would be a lot easier if people knew what they were supposed to do in these body scanners. The first time I went through one it took me twice as long as it should have because I had no idea how I was supposed to stand.

Here's how it went. Cue TSA man.
"Put your hands up."

"On your head."

"Put your hands in a triangle."

"No, on top of your head."

I thought they were on my head, loser.

So you can avoid this redundant conversation, I've prepared a 7-step instruction list.

How to Correctly Get Body Scanned at the Airport
1. Place feet in oval circles on ground.
2. Put arms above head like after a touchdown.
3. Fold elbows so hands touch.
4. Maneuver hands so they are in a vaguely triangular shape.
5. Place triangle on top center of head.
6. Stare directly forward.
7. Don't move until the perky TSA worker tells you to.

If everyone knew this beforehand, security would go a lot more quickly. There isn't any signage to explain this prior to the scary blue booth because they find it more important to share with you what they see. I guess it basically show naked pictures of people so these machines are on their way out. Supposedly the backscatter ones will be gone by June.

Some of the machines are being replace with similar ones so this is still a good skill to have. The new ones will no longer show an almost-naked photo, instead it'll be a generic cartoon shape. Maybe they are using my stick figures for inspiration!

Now that I think about it, that's probably better. After all, if they're taking naked pictures, they should at least pay you something instead of you chipping out a few hundred bucks for their services. Too cheap to even give you a copy. It could have been the new type of souvenir photo.

Until next time, God bless America.

P.S. Why not check out what I've been helping with at work lately? There are some great examples of students and professionals in STEM! http://fastforward.unl.edu/

Shhhh, Don't Tell Anyone But....

I have a secret. Shhhhh, you can't tell anyone. I'll tell you as long as you promise.

Promise?????

Ok.

I'll tell you.

I rode dozens of European buses without tickets or with reused tickets. Scandalous!

I rode buses in several central European countries and they all used the basic same system. You don't show your ticket to the bus driver. You simply walk on under the assumption everyone has a ticket.

Every time you ride, you're supposed to have a ticket. And, you can't just have a ticket. You need to have a stamped ticket. On the buses and in the subways there are things that look like this:

No, it is not a weird cartoon lego man. It stamps tickets with the current times. You put your ticket in the little mouth-looking-thing and then, STAMP. You can buy tickets for a certain time period and that's how you mark what time you started riding. (Pssst, I stopped using these machines after awhile).

I was told by some Polish college students that there are people who randomly check tickets from time to time and fine those who don't have tickets. I saw a sign saying these fines were on the range of about $50. But, considering how many times I rode without a ticket, I'm pretty sure I saved that much anyway. Most importantly, over eight weeks, I never saw anyone check tickets.

In each city I bought a ticket and kept it in my pocket just in case. I figured if someone checked you pull the I'm-a-tourist-and-I-didn't-know-I'm-so-sorry-WAIL!!!!!!!! card.

I felt a little bad about this. Well, for a bit. Not so much after I accidentally bought the wrong type of ticket in Budapest and it costs five times as much as it should have. In many places there are automated machines, and I don't speak Hungarian! A single ride bus ticket should not cost $10. And really, I used the correct, stamped tickets for the first 75% of my trip.

Considering how terrible I am at standing up on a moving bus, it is more important for me to grab tightly to a bar than take the time to stamp a ticket. It's terrible when you smack into someone and don't even know how to say sorry.

Until next time, God bless America.

Planes, Trains, Automobiles Part 3: The Wide Open Road

I realized I never finished the Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. So here it is:

It's time for Part 3 and the end of our trilogy. The last option for intra-continental travel is the one Americans are most familiar with...driving. This is one that I don't recommend for within Europe unless you have guts. The rules don't seem to be quite the same as we are accustomed to.

My Dad drove myself and my mother around central Europe for two weeks. In some ways, it was awesome. We got to see nine countries in record time and didn't waste any sitting in airports or train depots. And, it made it possible to visit things in the middle of nowhere (like the inspiration of Cinderella's castle). But, it always seemed like death was imminent.

The feeling of imminent death was primarily due to the interesting new roadway situations I'd never before experienced. These ranged from street car tracks in the middle of traffic to a signalized roundabout (otherwise known as the Traffic Circle of Death!)

We don't have street cars in Nebraska, and the buses are rare. So, I was amazed to see that some places have special lanes for street cars and other times you drive right behind them. It meant I had absolutely no idea when you're supposed to drive over them and when not. As far as I know, we didn't do anything illegal.

I was also confused by the signs. One looked like, "The lollipop queen will be marching this way." I think it was a school crossing???? Or, there were signs warning you to not hit pedestrians by showing a picture of a person being hit by a car. Thankfully I was able to figure out what was the one way sign. That could have been bad.

But lastly, and most importantly, the Traffic Circle of Death! I can't even start to draw a picture of it because I still don't get it. Random lanes were forced to exit at different spots. It took us 40 minutes to make it through a single intersection. There were multiple u-turns on the highway to get back to the frickin' circle because we couldn't figure out how to get to the exit we needed. I guess they didn't want us to leave Krakow. I was a bit embarrassed by how many tries it took to leave.

A GPS saved us over and over again. So, if you can handle the stress and want to see the back woods, it can work. There is a chance you will end up crying and smashing your head on the steering wheel. Good luck if you wish that upon yourselves.

Until next time, God bless America.