My Open Letter to a...Wonderful Airport Employee

I started my week by traveling to Texas for a job interview. As I live in Nebraska, it takes two flights to actually get anywhere you would like to visit, meaning I took a total of four flights over two days. Aside from the fact that three of my four flights were over an hour late, I had one other little issue with my experience. All my flights were on planes small enough my roll-y bag had to be gate checked. I think the best way to explain what happened is through an open letter to some wonderful airport employees.

Dear Mr. Bag Thrower Man,

While I am aware your title is Bag Thrower, did you really need to throw it quite that hard? I am unsure if you were trying to impress your fellow employees with your strength or simply attempting to get your daily workout, but I am unsatisfied with the results.

I believe you were attempting to show off your strength because it appears you were going for distance. My bag obviously was not placed directly on the baggage cart because it was sopping wet when I retrieved it after the flight. (And by sopping wet, I mean wet enough my suit was still wet when I arrived at the hotel after my next flight six hours later.) I hope you were able to set a new record in the bag throw. Perhaps it will be added to the next Olympics. If so, I'm rooting for you.

I would like to compliment you on your dexterity. You placed my bag on the plane so delicately that my plastic makeup remover bottle split down the side and got the rest of my liquid bottles oily. You did succeed in teaching me the real reason my miniature liquids have to be in a plastic baggie....to make sure I don't accidentally makeup remove the suede on my heels. Thank you, I'll remember that one. My heel didn't break off, maybe you can shoot for that on my next flight.

Sincerely,
Scary Carrie, a less than satisfied traveler

I do recognize it could have been worse. A fellow student who traveled to Poland last summer had the worst baggage experience I have ever heard of. Her checked bag arrived in Europe and was covered in duct tape. Somehow, the baggage people stabbed a 10 inch hole in the back of her bag that also left a dent in the metal bar. It was raining in one of her stops and her bag arrived so incredibly wet that all her tampons had grown to three times their size, just like the Grinch's heart. I always feel a little bad complaining after seeing that. I do wish I had been able to take off my eye makeup though. Raccoon eyes aren't a flattering look for an interview.

Until next time, God bless America.