Quinton's Foremost Blunders Episode 2

We last left Quinton in Pisa. We all remember his stylish pajamas from Episode 1. Thankfully, his luggage has finally caught up with him so the stylish Hawaiian tee and bucket hat are back. But, his luck hasn't been perfect. Quinton tripped while climbing the leaning tower and broke an ankle. Those marble steps are slippery!

So, what's the next stop?!?!

VENICE!!!!! 

Where else would you go in Italy? Venice is such a wondrous city, especially if you're on crutches................
um..................................................
maybe....................................
meh, we'll make it work.

Really, they're just canals. Besides, it's not like a modern city would still be that unfriendly to those in wheelchairs. I'm sure those bridges have been redesigned to make it easier. I'll bet Quinton is doing just fine. Let's check in.

Oops, I guess Quinton decided those bridges were too difficult on crutches. I guess a boat, or perhaps a life raft, is the next most logical option in a canal city. Though that gondolier doesn't look too happy about it. I really hope he doesn't catch anything. I can almost smell that water from here.

Until next time, God bless America.

Quinton's Foremost Blunders Episode 1

Quinton, The Quintessential Ugly American Tourist, made his first appearance in "I'm on Vacation and Already Stressed". But now, it's time for his first official cartoon. Hooray! I know you're all so excited, I can see you there on the edge of your seats.

So we welcome Quinton, who didn't make a great packing choice. He checked a bag with the airline and it included the majority of his essentials. After all, he needed to fill his carry-on with film. There are just so many pictures to take! It's a little unlucky that the guy at the electronics store didn't mention his new camera doesn't actually use film.

Guess what happened to Quinton's checked bag?

Your guess is as good as mine because we still don't know where it ended up. It's only been four days. After all, it's not like you pay the airlines hundreds of dollars to put bar codes on your bags or anything.....
But, Quinton has decided to soldier on with his head held high. No reason to let a little lost bag ruin your vacation. Look, he made it to the leaning tower of Pisa.

Wow, I had no idea Quinton liked kittens so much. At least he found a way to make sure his picture is one to remember. Does it count as a kitschy tourist picture if yours if the only one like that? And really, with a sleeping cap he can pretend he's a wizard in his spare time. Maybe he's the one who made it tilt.

Unless you want to make pink, kitten pajamas the new fashion trend, you may want to put some clothes in your carry-on. I really doubt you need that much film. Though, I think Quinton's picture is pretty epic.

Until next time, God bless America.

Official Introduction of the Ugly American Tourist

I'd like everyone to give a warm welcome to our title character. Welcome Quinton, the Quintessential Ugly American Tourist.

If you were paying attention, you'd notice he already appeared in "I'm on Vacation and Already Stressed". But he's so special he deserves an official introduction. Quinton will be appearing in a weekly cartoon about his dalliances. I know you can barely contain your excitement for the first one. Don't worry, It'll be coming soon. Quinton is ready with map in hand and fanny pack at his waist. Bam!

On another note, we have our first follower! Yay! Thanks to http://delightfullyludicrous.blogspot.com/. If you haven't checked it out yet, you really should. And to Kellie, here's your prize.

It's super classy.

Until next time, God bless America.

I'm on Vacation and Already Stressed

I selected this post to be featured on Humor Blogs. Please visit the site and vote for my blog!

You know what people like to do in Europe? Drink. This is true whether they live there or just happen to be visiting to experience the wonderful, historical, and cultural sites. To some people, the most wonderful, historical, and cultural sites are the bars. To those who were planning on absorbing some worldliness on their vacation by simply dropping everything and living off $10 a day and a backpack, drinking is also a common practice. You can see why this might sound desirable when your vacation isn't going quite as well as you'd hoped. That $10 a day didn't turn out to be enough to even buy a bottled water and your backpack is already becoming a little rank. Or even more likely, you and your significant other are not exactly seeing eye to eye as to how you should be spending your day, or your cash. To illustrate this, I'm going to need a little help.

Stick figures....ASSEMBLE!

And here they are. I'm proud to introduce the Ugly American Tourists: John and Mindy! If you'd prefer, you can lovingly refer to them as The Spaz and The Curmudgeon. Let's see how their trip is going. 

If your trip goes the way of John and Mindy's, you might be tempted to grab a drink at the local watering hole, and likely deserve one. As mentioned in "White Tennis Shoes are Super Sexy", America seems to be the only country which genuinely loves our signature tennis shoes. If you do (don't worry, I won't think you hate America if you don't), you might want to consider mixing it up a little. European clubs have a tendency to employ a dress code. And, while you'd be considered the epitome of awesomeness in a podunk town, those athletic shoes aren't going to cut it. No one wants this to happen...

If it does, you might really need that drink.

Until next time, God bless America.