Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Part 2: Clickety Clack on the Track

Da da dahhhhhhh! Time for Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Part 2!

As I'm sure you can guess, Part 2 will be about trains. I could mix it up and do the automobiles first but I'm sure there's at least one OCD person who would be bothered by the lack of order. So, trains! Above ground trains only, subways are a whole different thing.

I've only ridden two different train routes in my life. I choose not to count taking the little steam train at our local children's zoo or riding Thunder Mountain in Disney World. Though the latter costs more than my actual train trips.

These two train trips were fairly different experiences. First, I'll begin with the more successful. After all, everyone loves an optimist.

I took a train from Milan to Venice and then back again later that same day. This was my first experience of even remotely independent international travel. One other student and I took a day trip together during a free day of our study abroad. She and I got up incredibly early, so early in fact that the subway was closed. I didn't even know the subway ever closed. There was a gate across it! We took it to the train station and bought our tickets at an automated machine (thankfully, it had an English setting, incredibly easy to figure out and could avoid interacting with potentially unpleasant workers). We got on the train, got to Venice, and made it back to Milan in the evening with no problems. The train was clean, comfortable, spacious (little tables of four places at all the windows), and right on time. I felt so accomplished, a master of public transportation taking the subway and train in the same day without any direction.

The second trip was not as easy. I took a train from Warsaw to Krakow. Thankfully, the ticket was bought for me because the few people in Poland who didn't speak English were in such inconvenient jobs. It quickly went down hill from there. To begin, the train was over half an hour late, and while this was happening departure board continued to say it was leaving on time. An announcement came over the speaker in Polish and everyone on the platform started leaving. Panic! Was it cancelled? The board still said that platform half an hour ago. Thank God someone translated and said the platform was changed. The numbering system was so odd it took me longer than I would like to admit to find the new platform. At least I didn't miss it.

Eventually, the train left. Then there was the problem of finding my seat. It wasn't nearly as spacious as the Italian train (and I had 8 weeks worth of luggage as did the 7 other people I was traveling with). It looked a lot like this:

Um, I'm not sure everyone's bag is going to fit. They were not expecting people with weeks worth of luggage, or luggage at all it seems.

The other passengers were definitely not happy with the large bags. I was repeatedly glared at reproachfully. As they were speaking Polish, they may even have been insulting me but I like to think they were nicer than that. And really, those seats weren't any bigger than airplane ones. I have a bigger personal bubble than that.

Train travel seems very dependent on the specific line. I really enjoyed the first, but the second not so much. Their bathrooms were gross. I know many people take the train for all their travel and it can be pretty awesome. I'm just not quite that lucky it seems.

Until next time, God bless America.

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Part1: The Weirdest Flight of My Life

Hello all! I greatly appreciated the indignation on my behalf after not receiving a lollipop for a plethora of vaccinations this week. That should definitely be standard practice. I would go and complain if I'd had any nasty side effects.

Now, to today's topic, TRANSPORTATION! I understand you may not be quite as excited as I am but I'm sure you will be soon. And, it may seem a little redundant after Buses Make Me Nervous. But, that does not cover an important issue. How to get from one city to the next? There are three main ways...

Planes, trains, and automobiles! 

I've used all three and I'm sure you are at rapt attention waiting for my thoughts on each. First we have,

Planes!

I've only taken a plane between international cities once. It was an....interesting experience. I flew from Rome to Palermo and obviously back the other way. There weren't many choices for getting from Point A to Point B as Palermo is not on the mainland. I am extremely thankful I didn't have to take a boat. (I live in the Nebraska which couldn't get much more landlocked so I am incapable of walking on boats.)

Back to the flight. It was on a regional airline called EasyJet. It came with one bonus, or possibly detriment, of reduced security. I didn't even have to take off my shoes through the metal detector! Ahhhh, the small pleasures of life. I did get patted down though (but I set off the metal detector so can't really complain about that. And, it was less invasive than the normal procedures in the U.S.)

I was a little amazed by certain aspects of this flight. It was extremely delayed (which isn't really that weird these days), but the behaviors of the other passengers upon landing were so odd. I think this is better presented visually.

This illustrates the minute we landed. And by that, I mean we just hit the tarmac and are still taxi-ing around to the gate.

As you can see, that's me in the corner with a "Wtf?" expression. We had just hit the ground and immediately everyone jumps up, grabs their bags, starts chattering away in Italian (some on their phones), and crowds toward the exit. I was so amazed. Where was the surly stewardess to tell them, "The pilot has not turned off the fasten seat belt sign." Or, "Any and all electronic devices must remain off until an announcement is made that they are safe to use." Maybe I should drop out of engineering school and be a stewardess. I think I've got this down; I would rule the cabin with an iron fist.

While this was going on, I chose to simply stay seated, with seat belt securely fastened, until we stopped at the gate. It's been ingrained into my mind and I did not want to get flattened by the mob rushing to the exit or be stuck in the face by a bag from an overhead bin which, did in fact, shift during the flight.

These sorts of flights are quick and fairly cheap. The whole experience was a little strange to me because things occurred which would get you arrested by the TSA. But, it got me there without any sort of physical injury. I just kept wondering what other corners were cut. I don't advocate using a plane unless you have a specific reason (like the Mediterranean Sea) because you don't want to have to waste time in an airport. Blech.

I'll be sharing my experiences with trains and automobiles soon. I think each deserves its own attention.

So until next time, God bless America.

Quinton's Foremost Blunders Episode 2

We last left Quinton in Pisa. We all remember his stylish pajamas from Episode 1. Thankfully, his luggage has finally caught up with him so the stylish Hawaiian tee and bucket hat are back. But, his luck hasn't been perfect. Quinton tripped while climbing the leaning tower and broke an ankle. Those marble steps are slippery!

So, what's the next stop?!?!

VENICE!!!!! 

Where else would you go in Italy? Venice is such a wondrous city, especially if you're on crutches................
um..................................................
maybe....................................
meh, we'll make it work.

Really, they're just canals. Besides, it's not like a modern city would still be that unfriendly to those in wheelchairs. I'm sure those bridges have been redesigned to make it easier. I'll bet Quinton is doing just fine. Let's check in.

Oops, I guess Quinton decided those bridges were too difficult on crutches. I guess a boat, or perhaps a life raft, is the next most logical option in a canal city. Though that gondolier doesn't look too happy about it. I really hope he doesn't catch anything. I can almost smell that water from here.

Until next time, God bless America.

Quinton's Foremost Blunders Episode 1

Quinton, The Quintessential Ugly American Tourist, made his first appearance in "I'm on Vacation and Already Stressed". But now, it's time for his first official cartoon. Hooray! I know you're all so excited, I can see you there on the edge of your seats.

So we welcome Quinton, who didn't make a great packing choice. He checked a bag with the airline and it included the majority of his essentials. After all, he needed to fill his carry-on with film. There are just so many pictures to take! It's a little unlucky that the guy at the electronics store didn't mention his new camera doesn't actually use film.

Guess what happened to Quinton's checked bag?

Your guess is as good as mine because we still don't know where it ended up. It's only been four days. After all, it's not like you pay the airlines hundreds of dollars to put bar codes on your bags or anything.....
But, Quinton has decided to soldier on with his head held high. No reason to let a little lost bag ruin your vacation. Look, he made it to the leaning tower of Pisa.

Wow, I had no idea Quinton liked kittens so much. At least he found a way to make sure his picture is one to remember. Does it count as a kitschy tourist picture if yours if the only one like that? And really, with a sleeping cap he can pretend he's a wizard in his spare time. Maybe he's the one who made it tilt.

Unless you want to make pink, kitten pajamas the new fashion trend, you may want to put some clothes in your carry-on. I really doubt you need that much film. Though, I think Quinton's picture is pretty epic.

Until next time, God bless America.

J-J-J-J-J-J-J-Jaywalking

Have you ever been almost killed by a Hungarian car?
I have.

Definitely wasn't the highlight of my vacation. At least I wasn't actually hit, broken bones were not my idea of a good souvenir. That's why I've decided that I'm going to to share some information about international crosswalks so you can make it home with all your appendages intact. You're welcome :).

I'm a college student so I jaywalk constantly. If a car is coming I know it's going to stop for me because I'm just that awesome. This is also true if that "car" happens to be a tractor. I'm from Nebraska, that's more common than you'd think. And really, there's no reason to be scared of tractors, they don't even go that quickly. Besides, Nebraskans always stop for pedestrians because they only want to rundown you down if you're a deer or a squirrel.

Midwesterners are never in a hurry. Cities are small and there isn't much else nearby. How much of a hurry can you be in if the only thing outside a 5-mile radius is a corn field? And, I doubt a 10 second stop will make you late to the office six blocks away. To make sure you got it, here's how it works in Nebraska.

Walk sign is on, go right ahead. The guy in the tractor is even wishing you a good day.

Don't walk, go right ahead. The guy in the tractor is still wishing you a good day.

That's not quite how it works in Europe. No one jaywalks. It was incredibly weird for me to see people stand on the corner, even when no one was coming. You start to wonder if they're blind and simply didn't see the sign. If you do try and cross, bam, $60 fine. Ouch. I'd rather spend that on some fancy doodads.

More importantly, since no one jaywalks, drivers don't watch for you. If you aren't supposed to be walking, they'll speed right on by. At least the cars are tiny. They're so small they may just bounce off but you probably don't want to risk it. Here's what my experience was like.

Walk sign is on, look at me go. That little car is waiting for me oh so patiently.

Don't walk, I'm glad I didn't get too far out there. My poor bows!!!! I hope they didn't fall down a sewer grate.

Some countries are worse than others. Take Italy for example, you may be hit regardless of the walk sign. All those mopeds seem to be in quite a hurry. Here's what it looked like.

Sorry, you need to excuse me. I'm going to go cry in the fetal position now.

Until next time, God bless America.