Thursday, September 13, 2012

For the Love of Cabbage

I'm not much of an adventurous diner. To me, mild is so spicy I feel like I'm about to die. If I could, I'd invent a new sauce simply called, "Bland". Can't you just imagine it?

I'd buy that. You know anything that is such a nondescript, gray color will be easy on the palate. But, back to the point. My lack of culinary daring made travel to Poland seem like a good choice. Because really, that area of the world eats meat and potatoes, awesome. Not to mention some chocolate thrown in. I can definitely deal with that.

After a few weeks, I found that I was sick of it. Really, how many pieces of pork can a person eat? I decided it was time to branch out and I was surprised by what I found.

Because obviously, we need to eat soup with every meal and not just when you're sick or cold. But wait, there's more!!!!

But maybe soup isn't your thing. I had definitely gotten sick of soup so decided to try my hand at the local Mexican restaurant, simply titled "The Mexican". It seemed super authentic. Especially once you saw the blank look on the waiter's face after sitting down and saying "Como esta?" 

Regardless, I ordered a taco. Chicken of course as Poland only seems to believe in beef if it's veal. And, I was surprised by what I got. I think an exploded view shows it best.

Any idea what the "Super Secret Section" was?

It was CABBAGE!!!! (well, it was kind of coleslaw, but they are synonymous in Poland)

I still have no idea why there was cabbage. Or why it was hidden underneath the taco so I couldn't see it until after I started eating. It felt like an intentional lie! The, "I'm going to pretend to serve you the rice-you-so-desperately-miss but hide the fact that it only covers 50% of the surface area of the plate, the rest is the cabbage you despise. Mwahahahahaha!"

I was unable to escape the cabbage. It was in soups, salads, kebabs, and a side dish to everything. I had hoped The Mexican would be cabbage-free. But I was wrong. Oh, the horror.

Until next time, God bless America.


  1. I put chilli in everything! My philosophy is if my eyeballs aren't sweating, it's not spicy enough.

    1. Really? Too bad. I guess that's one less Bland! sauce I'll be able to sell. I was hoping that'd be my niche.

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  3. It could be worse, you could have gone to Scotland and had haggis?

    Bland! sauce? I know a couple of people who would be allll over that!

    1. I may have to consider marketing the Bland! sauce. Then, those of us with non-adventurous tastes can avoid the judgmental stares of those who stick their noses up at the fact that we prefer to forego condiments.